Thanks to Jazz Shaw’s excellent post at TMV, I finally understand the scandalous Bowling-Gate. Turns out that there are millions of Americans who define masculinity in terms of bowling. Hunh. Who knew?
We want our president to be a REAL man. Even if it turns out to be Hillary Clinton. (And on a related note, where are Senator Clinton’s bowling records and when will she release her surgery schedule for sexual reassignment should she win the election in November?)
Evidently, it’s just common knowledge that real men bowl well. (C’mon… fess up. You know you believe it.)
We just cannot have a president whose “Y” is defective, and by golly I’m relieved that he’s finally being vetted. And while we’re on the subject of bowling, did you know that a bowler is considered an athlete??
BRZEZINSKI: Oh, stop it. Now, that’s just not nice.
SCARBOROUGH: Anyway, make your point.
FORD: He’s a heck of an athlete, by the way.
SCARBOROUGH: Is he really?
FORD: Actually, heck of an athlete.
SCARBOROUGH: It sure didn’t look it, the way that he was just —
Wild. All those years I spent in the bowling alley, I shoulda been buff, eh?
Luckily, Obama still gets his “athlete” badge, cuz he can play basketball. And dance. (Well of course he can. Duh. We’ve covered this ground for decades!)
Let’s see — what else has come up recently that was “news”?
Well… via Too Sense (one of my favorite blogs), there’s Condoleeza Rice, who *gasp* turns out to be a black person:
Apparently, Condoleeza shocked the hell out of people by reminding them that she was black.
White people, black people. Shocked the hell out of everybody.
Amazing. I had no idea. You?
And elsewhere, we learn that Michelle Obama and Teresa Heinz Kerry are appearing together tomorrow for the first time ever.
Let’s just hope the gals don’t get competitive about who’s man has poorer hygiene or more annoying nighttime habits.
Yeah, baby. Stand by your man and all that. In these troubled times, we need a real man president who doesn’t snore.
(And I had no idea Teresa once told a reporter to “shove it”. Seems suspiciously like a weird yin to Obama’s dainty bowling yang to me.)
I’m tellin’ ya, our lives are positively enriched by this campaign season. I mean… who knew?