If there’s any card being played in the Democratic campaign right now, it’s the gender card:
A Clinton adviser, Ann Lewis, said she was surprised Obama would tangle with Bill Clinton.
“There seems to be a subtext here of demanding that Hillary, of all the candidates for president, campaign alone without the support of her spouse,” she said.
This is beautifully subtle. Who would dare say that Hillary — the lone woman in a field of men — should campaign alone? Pandering to neanderthalic misogynists would be political suicide, and I don’t see anyone that stupid in the field for either party.
But of course, Bill isn’t your average spouse, is he? Or maybe I’ve been missing the screaming headlines produced every time Elizabeth Edwards or Michelle Obama or Cindy McCain speak.
“In fact, Bill Clinton is now serving in the campaign very much the role that Hillary served when he ran.
“This notion that women and men can support one another, can play equal roles, is very much what we’re all about,” Lewis said.
And there it is.
Hillary Clinton’s campaign is a Two-fer — a bonus plan. Elect one and you get both. Playing equal roles is absolutely what they’re “all about”.
If you’re old enough to remember the Clinton years with any kind of clarity, you’ll remember the enormous role Hillary played in Bill’s presidency. I don’t think that was an anomaly. Rather, it seems to be a function of their relationship. They have apparently built a peer marriage.
The rule books haven’t been written yet; peer couples are making it up as they go along. But this much I have observed: Peer couples trade a frustrated, angry relationship with a spouse for one of deep friendship. They may have somewhat tamer sex lives than couples in traditional marriages. They definitely have fewer external sources of validation. And these couples have a closeness that tends to exclude others. But theirs is a collaboration of love and labor that produces profound intimacy and mutual respect. Traditional couples live in separate spheres and have parallel lives. Above all, peer couples live the same life. In doing so, they have found a new way to make love last.
Yes, I’m guessing a bit, but this isn’t a subject with which I’m unfamiliar, because Polimom’s not just a proponent of Peer Marriage; I’m lucky enough to be in one… and the one thing it is not is traditional.
It’s also a relatively unknown concept. For instance, although Pepper Schwartz’s book came out in 1994, there are fewer then 5,000 hits for the term in a google search this morning.
It’s far more than re-distributing child care duties or alternating meal preparation. Peer marriages involve not just respect for your partner, but giving consideration and weight to their ideas and, even more importantly, a willingness to have them stand equally beside you. The partners are a true working team.
This is not a small distinction, and even if Bill did not have a presidency behind him, the American people would need to vet him.
It’s a mistake to look at Hillary Clinton as a single entity… because she isn’t.