Polimom’s parents didn’t spank. Instead, the preferred method of discipline was withdrawal of affection combined with a liberal application of guilt. I can tell you that this is very effective — and it’s also one of the things I put under the heading of “things I never want to do to my child” when I gave birth to Adorable Child.
Instead, I went with the smorgasboard approach — and among the many possibilities on Polimom’s buffet table is spanking.
Lucky I don’t live in California these days:
SACRAMENTO, Calif. – California parents could face jail and a fine for spanking their young children under legislation a state lawmaker has promised to introduce next week.
Democratic Assemblywoman Sally Lieber said such a law is needed because spanking victimizes helpless children and breeds violence in society.
“I think it’s pretty hard to argue you need to beat a child,” Lieber said. “Is it OK to whip a 1-year-old or a 6-month-old or a newborn?”
Lieber said her proposal would make spanking, hitting and slapping a child under 4 years old a misdemeanor. Adults could face up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine.
This contains so many non-synonymous terms that the entire concept gets mushed up like so many peas and carrots — because there’s a world of difference between an open-handed swat or two on the backside and beating, much less “whipping”, a baby.
I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that Ms. Lieber has never had a three-year-old plant her little fists on her hips and say, “You stupid woman” to her when the Adorable Child was told to go to her room for a time-out.
Beating children? Whipping a newborn? Anyone who thinks such activity is “discipline” falls far below the threshold for humanity, much less parenting; there’s never an excuse for child abuse.
But a spanking is not abuse. This lawmaker need some experience (and a dictionary).
Evidently, some parents in California are not impressed:
The Bay Area Democrat hasn’t introduced a bill yet, but critical calls and e-mails — including some personal attacks — have flooded her offices since her local newspaper wrote about her intention.
Unbowed, Lieber said she would introduce a bill next week to make California the first state to make the hitting of a toddler or baby a crime. Language was still being drafted, but Lieber was considering making a violation a misdemeanor, punishable by up to a year in county jail.
“It would get us out of the ridiculous situation of having our law saying there’s justifiable beating of children,” Lieber said, “in the midst of a society where we say we value children and protect them.”
There is no law, folks, that says it’s justifiable to beat children. Meanwhile, Schwarzenegger and his wife have obviously moved on to the next developmental stages:
Answering questions after delivering a healthcare speech Friday to Los Angeles business leaders, Schwarzenegger said he and his wife, Maria Shriver, quickly found that threatening to ground their children to do schoolwork worked well. “We can discipline the kids … without hitting,” he said.
Yup yup yup! I agree totally — that works really well, but only on kids who are old enough to care about this particular consequence. (Luckily, AC does care; we use this one quite a bit these days…)
The upshot, ultimately, is that parenting takes creativity, flexibility, and a number of approaches depending upon the child, the situation, and his or her developmental age and personality.
Beating? Whipping? Hitting? Ohnononononono.
Spanking a defiant three-year-old? Unless one is lost in the wildnerness of semantics, that’s a whole different bowl of mush.