Every year about this time, Adorable Child (AC) starts her Christmas List. She jots ideas down everywhere: napkins, magazine covers, the back of her hand… whatever surface she has that will hold ink. And heading each and every one of those lists for the last two years has been a cell-phone.
Why, exactly, does a ten-year-old need a cell-phone? According to a recent AP article by Martha Irvine, the problem is on my end — or as AC would say, I just don’t get it:
10 Is the New 15 As Kids Grow Up Faster
But child development experts say that physical and behavioral changes that would have been typical of teenagers decades ago are now common among “tweens” _ kids ages 8 to 12.
Some of them are going on “dates” and talking on their own cell phones. They listen to sexually charged pop music, play mature-rated video games and spend time gossiping on MySpace. And more girls are wearing makeup and clothing that some consider beyond their years.
[snip]
The shift that’s turning tweens into the new teens is complex _ and worrisome to parents and some professionals who deal with children. They wonder if kids are equipped to handle the thorny issues that come with the adolescent world.
I’ve written about various aspects of this before (it came up most recently in the “age of consent” discussions), but all the knowledge and information in the world doesn’t tell me what I can do about it.
As it happens, AC saw the article quoted above, and said, “Mom, that piece has things all wrong”… and so I invited her to jot her thoughts down. Here’s what she said:
Many parents believe their “tweens” are growing up too fast, but as a tween, I and many of my friends believe we are growing up too slow [sic].
[… editing out some personal examples of how she’s lied to her friends to seem more “grown up”…]
From adults’ point of view, we are rushing, but for us, it seems to take FOREVER!
Her quick little rebuttal was both heartening and discouraging; it confirmed everything Irvine’s article said, and simultaneously demonstrated that AC and her friends feel exactly the same way I felt as a young person.
The difference, of course, is that I felt those things at 12 or 13, not 10.
All of which leaves me stuck — still — with that pesky little Christmas List. The early skirmishes are already evolving into larger battles in what will be, eventually, an all-out war, and for now, I’ve drawn the firmest of lines in the sand.
Did I say line? I meant trench.
My latest response was, “You’re never going to get a cell-phone. Ever.” (In consulting terms, we call this “managing expectations”.)
I’m hoping it’ll hold for a while, so that when “never” turns out to be two years from now, we’ll both be able to declare a victory.
Meanwhile, Santa needs a fresh list.
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