Umbrellas (and other deadly weapons)

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  1. I went to public schools. There is a never ending list of things that are potential dangers to students in the eyes of school administrators. Lots of girls never did understand why they couldn’t wear open toe shoes, even though they were banned for safety and not for being too casual. That rule was never really explained well.
    Anyway, my reaction to some school possibly banning umbrellas was really one of no surprise. I admit it does sound a bit too far, but having been around public school children in elementary grades, i can see where maybe some kid managed to injure another one, and from that day forth, umbrellas were banned. Odds are it is not common, and most kids wouldn’t hurt each other with one, but it always starts with one student.

  2. The tip of a pencil broke off in the white of my right eye when I was in first grade. The tip is still there and can be seen in good lighting. Maybe pencils should be banned?

  3. Actually, you would have to cut off the blood flow entirely – or else drain all of it out of the childrens’ bodies before sending them to school. After all, blood is a carrier of a wide variety of dangerous diseases, and it has been used as a weapon in the past.
    Better yet: how about let’s just ban schools, and convert the buildings into the prisons that we know we will need in the future. Make the kids wear pink underwear and orange jumpsuits, and eat green bologna (maybe that sheriff from Maricopa County AZ could be the new Education Tsar.)
    Glad my son is out of school, BTW.
    ~EdT.

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